Seek First to Understand - A Personal Awakening
In the current climate of war and violence, it is easy to build a classic Us against Them mentality. Whether that is America vs Terrorists or Hawks vs Doves or Republicans vs Democrats, we create an enemy, an alien, an other. That other becomes the enemy we strive to defeat.
Unfortunately, making that other the enemy requires that we demonize and dehumanize them. We call them ragheads, liberals, warmongers, and tree huggers - anything but people. If they aren’t people, we can hate them and destroy them. If they aren’t people, it is acceptable to attack their reputations, their homes and their very lives, because “they” are somehow less than “us”.
What makes me better or more valuable than you? What makes “us” better than the religious extremists in the Middle East? From their perspective, we are the religious extremists. We just worship money, material and technology instead of a big scary man in the sky.
From Their Perspective
Perspective is the key word here. We have our own perspective that we love and nurture and treat as a child. We value our perspective, our opinion, above all else. We will even kill and die to defend our perspective.
I was challenged yesterday morning as I listened to Ervand Abrahamian on Wisconsin Public Radio as he spoke of the current situation in Iran from Iran’s perspective. I learned that we rejected an attempt by less radical elements in Iran to negotiate a blanket agreement with the U.S. that covered everything from terrorism to the nuclear question. We rejected the olive branch, and lumped Iran in with the “Axis of Evil”. After that rejection, the fundamentalists were again able to regain control of Iran’s government. I learned that the moderates were gaining power in Iran until we invaded Iraq, and made no attempt to engage Iran or any other country in the region before making our move.
Eliminating Ignorance
My point is not to get involved in politics here - that is not what this blog is about. My point is that I was appalled at my own ignorance. I had no clue what the situation looked like from Iran’s perspective. And while the conflicts we are facing in the Middle East are large and important, I came to understand that I often don’t understand the perspective of those people closer to home that I may not agree with.
It is easy to engage in conflict, to fight and argue endlessly over our pet issues. We can take up arms, separate ourselves, and mark out our territory, ready to fire at anyone who intrudes. I feel like our whole country is in this position right now, not just internationally, but domestically as well. I believe that if we truly want peace, and not just victory at all costs, we must first seek to understand, then be understood. We must be willing to lay down our arms, at least for a little while, and hear what the other side is saying. We can stand around and wait and insist that “they” listen, insist that “they” be the first to lay down their weapons. Our best move is to be willing to lay down our weapons, whether those weapons are guns, or words, or stony silence, and have the courage to listen - unarmed.
