So much of the personal development that we engage in as adults is about fixing bad habits we have developed over a lifetime of experience. I look back at my life and wonder how different I would be today if someone had taken the time to teach me the lessons I am learning now, at the ripe old age of 34. I’ve also spent quite a bit of time looking at my own three children, two girls and a boy, wondering how I can better prepare them to live lives of purpose, and avoid many of the pitfalls I’ve had to endure.

Children are incredible creatures. They have a joy and innocence that all adults recognize, and often long to recapture in their own lives. Their young minds are malleable, able to acquire and internalize information very quickly. It seems to me that we should be able to harness their developing minds to help them build positive habits and personal resiliency that will benefit them as they grow and gradually take charge of their own destiny. The question is, how do we take the knowledge and strategies we have as adults and turn that into methods for training our children?

Here are a few methods I am using today. I am neither a child psychologist, nor an educational expert. I am just a parent groping in the darkness and trying to do my best to pass on a positive heritage.

• Communicate, communicate, communicate. I know we hear this mantra constantly. It only sticks around because it is so true. If we don’t make time to talk with our children, and listen just as well, we will lose our influence. You will be surprised how often impromptu chats can turn into powerful teaching experiences.
• Watch for teachable moments. My son has a few physical development issues, and is afraid to try new activities because he lacks confidence in his body. When I take him to the playground, I watch him closely to see when he hesitates or backs off of playing on a new piece of equipment. When I see that, I will give him a few moments, then walk over and work with him on tackling the new challenge. It isn’t always successful, but he has learned over the years that he is capable of more than he thinks, and is more wiling to take on new challenges.
• Nothing beats experience. My wife and I have committed to making sure our children get out and experience the world. For holidays and birthdays we usually ask for help with putting together mini travel packages instead of toys that will be forgotten in a few days. We believe that by exposing them to many different people and situations, they will be more confident when confronted with new environments and opportunities later in life.
• Ask for what you want. I am amazed at how often we all fail to ask for what we want or need. I used to be terrified of hearing the word “No”. We started teaching our children at an early age to ask for what they wanted. It started by asking for a different Happy Meal toy at McDonald’s, and now we are teaching our oldest daughter to ask for assistance and clarification from the director of her school play. Our children are learning that they get more of what they need if they just ask.
• Set the example. I am still learning and growing, and I am definitely far from perfect. Everyday I have to push myself forward and never give up. I can’t expect my children to take risks and follow their passion if I am not willing to do it myself, so I set the example. I believe that just as much personal development knowledge is caught as is taught.

Have you thought about how to teach these important skills to your children? What methods are you using? What success stories do you have? Raising happy, healthy children is a passionate issue for me. I would love to have you share your knowledge here to benefit us all.

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